In an act of defiance against the Oxford Public Library I circumvented their "policies" and used Joe's library card to rent a book on tape..

GUARANTEED!!!!
I spent a good three weeks of car time learning Italian, and now I am ready for someone to invite me to their Italian Villa!
Although I had to suffer through a few awkward chapters about explaining broken families and remarriages (??? why would you include that??), I did learn the most important phrase I need to know: Une vertro de vino bianco. You can guess what that means. (Also - I did NOT learn to spell Italian from my book on tape, so don't judge.)

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